People Changing People
57Why do people do this. I just don't understand Why can't they except us for who we are. Is it because they are not our true friends? Or is it because they don't love us for who we are? I do understand we have to change for like a medical reason. For instance my partner went back to smoking awhile ago. It was very hard for me to except it but i did.because that's who he is. My mom passed away in 2007 and I lost my daughters father this year in May. It was because of cigarettes. My partner and I are expecting a baby girl (Kristina Lynn) in Feb 2010. Plus i have bad asthma. So my partner was smoking for a couple of weeks now. I was trying my hardest to get use to it. But every time he came back from one,the smell would make me sick to my stomach and give me a headache. So I told him how it makes me feel. Then he told me he would quit just like that. He has been a smoking for many years since he was 9 years old. I was surprised because he said that because that is who he is ,a smoking. So I asked him why are you quitting. He just simply said to me. I'm not going to endanger your health or even the baby's health. So next month we will get the patch for him. so that is what I mean changing for a medical reason. Ok now back to my hub. What if you and your partner just getting together. Starting a new relationship and he/she is telling you, they don't like you doing this or doing that. I know he/she wants the best for you. But I just don't understand it. Aren't you suppose to love/like someone for who they are. If that is the case I would just say good bye and not be in a relationship with him/her. I have a friend who tries to do this to me. She wants me to have my house super clean like hers.She wants me to raise my daughter like the way she raises her daughter. Then she tries to get me into this and that just like her. I tell her NO all the time. She gets mad but she gets over it I think. Then she starts all over again.Wait a minute if she is my friend.,she would except me for who I'm. How I keep my house clean. How I raise my daughter. Plus what I want to get involved in. I wonder sometimes who's life is it theirs or mine. I guess I'm not perfect either I recently was doing the same thing with my partner. I did not like his smoking ,his singing and a couple of other things. Plus there was somethings he did not like about me.So I guess we were trying to change each other for who we are.. So we had a talk and we do now accept each other for who we are. But he is quitting smoking. So from me to you we should just sit down.and see our partner or friend for who they are and be happy that we have them in our lives. I know I have now. It might be hard at first. But if you truly love you partner. Or want to have friends just except them for who they are.
coffeesnob Level 1 Commenter 2 years ago
Rios
Some of my best friends urge me on to greater things - not trying to control or make me like them, but they care and challenge my thinking and cause me to think. If, for instance I am grumbling all the time they might encourage me to think about things than make me happier. Jesus is that way too -He never leaves us as we are. Many people that he met he challenged to change -like the relgious leaders, or the Samaritan woman he met at the well -or even the disciples who followed him -but it was always taking them to a higher calling. I think we can accept people for who they are and at the same time challenge them to look at things that could change -be blessed dear!